This I do not understand...

When you go to a certain mega-market ( That Which Name Cannot Be Spoken But Is on Every Corner), it is inevitable that you will see weird things. At the least, you will see things that can't easily be explained.

Lately, I can't get over how people are using ( or rather....misusing...) shopping carts when going through the store. I mean, come on...how difficult is it to properly use a shopping cart? You would think that anyone can figure out that using a cart means walking behind it, PUSHING the cart, and putting things you intend to purchase IN the cart. I mean....isn't that why there are handles/grips back there?

Well, this Sunday as I went through the store, I realized that I must have missed the memo/email that the instruction manuals for shopping carts must have been changed. To save everyone time, I've gone ahead and saved them here for all to read.

New Rules for Using the Shopping Cart:

1) Walk alongside the cart steering with one hand only. Not only does this increase the chance of the cart careening all over the aisle mowing down hapless innocent shoppers, you get the added mental boost of knowing that YOU OWN the damned aisle!

2) Walk in FRONT of the cart, tugging it along. Keep in mind that you surrender the mowing down of shoppers as in #1, but with this method when you suddeny see an item ACROSS the aisle that you want, you can abruptly yank that cart across the aisle at a 45 degree angle , block the entire aisle while you reach up and...well...hell, never mind. Thats NOT the item you thought it was...

3) Do a hybrid of #1 & #2... sorta walk alongside but further up the cart, and CARRY items in your arms rather than put it in the cart. No need to overburden the poor dear!

And gawd forbid that these same people try to use the self-checkout aisles.....