I find it hard to believe that in this day and age when computers are so pervasive in everyday life, that educated adults with college degrees can be so damned IGNORANT.

I am a supervisor; that means I am supposed to handle matters that each of the 6 employees under me feel need my attention.

However, I spend the first two hours of each of my work days running from office to office "fixing" things that I wouldn't even call computer problems but are literally crises to the computer users around me.

Examples: (These are REAL instances)

Problem: "I can't log into the network"

My Solution: "Plug in the damned cable that CONNECTS you to the network and THEN try logging in!"

Problem: " I can't access the mainframe database; my computer says I'm working in disconnect mode"


My Solution: " See that little box in the lower right hand corner of your computer screen? The one that when you went through training to use this program you were told to click on and make sure it said office mode when you needed to be connected? The one that says you're in disconnect mode right now? The one that you should now click on to change? Do it! "

Problem : " I can't print anything!"

My Solution : "Try clicking the print button. It usually works when you click on it."

Problem : "I'm getting this weird message that says I should switch to another power source before my battery on the laptop dies and I lose all my work."

My Solution: " Find the long cord in the bag that you get the laptop out of every morning. Plug one end into that slot in the back of the laptop, and the other end into that electrical socket in the wall. Keep your fingers crossed, but usually that solves the problem."

Problem: "Help! I'm getting this warning message that I don't understand!"

My Solution : "Calm down. See that word 'password' next to that white box ? It means you have to type in that secret word you have used every morning for the last five years to log in. Try it; you'll like it."

Problem : "There's something wrong with the computer. The screen won't come on!"

My Solution: " There's a button on the front of the case. Push it; that's called the power switch."

Problem: " I tried to log into the network this morning because I have to send out the annual status report in the next thirty minutes but I got a message saying because I didn't renew my authorization code to log in, I'm blocked. I forgot to tell you I've been getting a reminder every day for the last 60 days to request the network administrator to renew my code. How soon can you get it fixed because I forgot to back the report up, and the only place I have it stored is in the blocked program."

My Solution: " It will be two days before you get the authorization code, just like it has been every year for the last five years that you have forgotten to get your code re-authorized. "

I have a headache.....

The weekend past was finally something close to acceptable as far as temperatures go. You would think that by the end of September, things would begin to cool down somewhat. But not here... not in Louisiana. It's still almost oppressively hot. Saturday was in the mid-90's; we found out when we went to the flea market in Prairieville to meet a friend who was trying his hand at working a booth there selling silver jewelry.

We met Pancho there around 10 AM. He had told us his booth was on the backside of the flea market, behind the concession stands. The flea market is a long single story series of booths that stretch almost a half mile in length facing Airline Highway. The booths are set so that there is an aisle on the highway side, and when you get to the end, you swing around and there is a similar aisle on the backside. It is MUCH cooler on the side facing the highway for some reason. So, naturally, by the time we found Pancho, we were both drenched in sweat.

He had been set up there for about three hours, and had yet to make his first sale. In talking to some of the other vendors who sell there more regulary than him, Pancho was told by them that sales on saturdays when LSU plays football at home makes for very slow sales days. It seemed that the belief was holding true for this weekend.

We visited with him for a while; not too long because it was really quite warm. During the half hour or so we were there, he had a few browsers look at some of the silver on his tables. But no one bought a thing.